Chinese Take-Away: Where's the knife?

How come when you go to one of those Chinese Restaurants in the Food Court at a Mall or Shopping Centre all they give you to eat the food is a fork?

Now if I order some chicken or meat with my rice or noodles I can't just eat it with a fork. The pieces of meat or chicken are normally so large that they need cutting. So here I am spending 10 minutes trying to cut one piece of chicken with a plastic fork! Half the rice is flying off the plate, sauce is dripping on my pants, and the world seems a whole lot tougher all because I'm eating knifeless! It's not just having a fork I'd easily take a pair of chopsticks, but i need two dining utensils if I'm going to eat this meal in a reasonable fashion.

Did someone long ago use a knife from one of these restaurants for some deadly purposes? If they did, kudos to them for causing any damage with a plastic knife!

So you havent got a knife and the meat needs cutting. One popular method is to place the meat on the fork and then try to bite a reasonable size of it off with your mouth. That can get very messy. The piece of meat slips off the fork and then you are trying to land it on the plate, sauce is flying everywhere, all over your shirt and on the table.

If the shops aren't going to provide a knife they could atleast put up a sign B.Y.O.P.K. Bring Your Own Plastic Knife.

Turning on the Taps

I don't know how your taps are but when I turn on my hot water tap it takes a few seconds for the water to get warm. Now I could wait for the hot water to get warm and then very hot, and then turn on the cold water tap and try to find that perfect balance of warm water to wash my hands with, but that would take too long. So this is my routine:

First turn on the hot water tap. Now quickly rinse your hands and wait for the water to get warm. Now you gotta be real fast here. Get the soap on your hands, rub them thoroughly and then quickly get them back under the water. At this point the water has gone from warm and is quickly approaching very hot to scalding temperature. So once your hands are rinsed you remove them from underneath the tap, about 2 seconds before they get burned and your rushed to hospital. You then dry your hands, as they are still stinging from the hot water and turn the tap off.

That's it washing your hands by only turning the hot water tap on. You can do this too, it's all in the timing. Don't try this in the shower though, because you'll only have about 5 seconds to wash your entire body and you'll probably end up with third degree burns.