Call Centre Operators wanting to Talk to You

Not only do we have to wait 10 to 15 minutes just to talk to anyone because of these call centres now operators want to have conversations with you! A few times recently while I've been waiting for the operator to update my information or access certain information and I've been drawn into conversations on the weather and what I am doing this weekend! Look you've got my address and my birthdate you don't need to know if I have anything planned for tomorrow. Let the madness end.

The start of movies these days...

Don't you hate it, you are in the cinema, you've sat through 20 minutes of mindnumbingly bad adds and you're ready for the movie. So it finally starts and you're thinking Wow this is an incredible start to the movie. Then you realise, this ain't the movie its a logo for the productin company!! Why did they suddenly start making these logos that are like 1 minute movie clips? You think you are watching the intro to a movie but now its just Spyglass' logo or a random production company.

What happened to the good old days where they would just flash the logo on the screen before the movie. It's unstoppable, these things are getting so advanced you don't know when the logo ends and the movie begins. Sometimes the logo has the best visual effects in the whole movie! Someone stop the madness please.

They could atleast give us a warning! Like the logo is about to begin, this is not the start of the movie, and then play it. I've been fooled too many times by these damn logos!

The memory's fading..

Ever check your e-mail, and then you check out a few web pages and then you can't remember if you check your e-mail. So you check your e-mail and see you have no new messages, and then it hits you. I've already checked my e-mail, like 10 minutes ago. That's not a great memory there.

What about when you are thinking of a name or location or a person, perhaps vaguely, and then you completely forget who it is. It's on the tip of your tongue and then It's like your brain says "Not so fast little buddy!" and rushes that memory to the furthest recesses of your mind. So then you spend 15 minutes trying to remember something you had right there in your head just moments earlier.

The worst case of memory loss that can happen to you is this. You are in the shower, and you can't remember if you have shampoo'd your hair or not. You are thinking of something, going through the usual shower routine and then you have that moment when you stop and think, "Have I shampoo'd my hair?" Most of the time I can seriously not remember. I've probably ended up shampooing my hair hair twice on way too many occasions.

Toast

Ever had two pieces of toast and you want something different on each. Say you want honey on one piece and apricot jam on the other. So you butter or margerine the toast and you spread the honey on the first slice. Now you got a small plate because thats all you need for toast, don't need a large plate. Now this is where you are likely to make a terrible mistake. You place the toast with honey underneath the second piece of toast. Then spread the jam on the second slice of toast.

When you start eating that toast that when it hits you. The toast with honey that you placed underneath has mixed with the toast with jam and now you have two flavours that really shouldn't be mixed together. So be warned! Never think you can place the toast with a different spread underneath, it will always infect the other toast, and then you have serious breakfast problems!

Chinese Take-Away: Where's the knife?

How come when you go to one of those Chinese Restaurants in the Food Court at a Mall or Shopping Centre all they give you to eat the food is a fork?

Now if I order some chicken or meat with my rice or noodles I can't just eat it with a fork. The pieces of meat or chicken are normally so large that they need cutting. So here I am spending 10 minutes trying to cut one piece of chicken with a plastic fork! Half the rice is flying off the plate, sauce is dripping on my pants, and the world seems a whole lot tougher all because I'm eating knifeless! It's not just having a fork I'd easily take a pair of chopsticks, but i need two dining utensils if I'm going to eat this meal in a reasonable fashion.

Did someone long ago use a knife from one of these restaurants for some deadly purposes? If they did, kudos to them for causing any damage with a plastic knife!

So you havent got a knife and the meat needs cutting. One popular method is to place the meat on the fork and then try to bite a reasonable size of it off with your mouth. That can get very messy. The piece of meat slips off the fork and then you are trying to land it on the plate, sauce is flying everywhere, all over your shirt and on the table.

If the shops aren't going to provide a knife they could atleast put up a sign B.Y.O.P.K. Bring Your Own Plastic Knife.

Turning on the Taps

I don't know how your taps are but when I turn on my hot water tap it takes a few seconds for the water to get warm. Now I could wait for the hot water to get warm and then very hot, and then turn on the cold water tap and try to find that perfect balance of warm water to wash my hands with, but that would take too long. So this is my routine:

First turn on the hot water tap. Now quickly rinse your hands and wait for the water to get warm. Now you gotta be real fast here. Get the soap on your hands, rub them thoroughly and then quickly get them back under the water. At this point the water has gone from warm and is quickly approaching very hot to scalding temperature. So once your hands are rinsed you remove them from underneath the tap, about 2 seconds before they get burned and your rushed to hospital. You then dry your hands, as they are still stinging from the hot water and turn the tap off.

That's it washing your hands by only turning the hot water tap on. You can do this too, it's all in the timing. Don't try this in the shower though, because you'll only have about 5 seconds to wash your entire body and you'll probably end up with third degree burns.